wishy-washy (adj.)
1 : lacking in character or determination : ineffectual (ex. wishy-washy leadership)
2 : lacking in strength or flavor : weak (ex. wishy-washy wines)
– wishy-wash i ness noun
from merriam-webster.com

i wish i wasn’t so indecisive. so “wishy-washy” if you will (which by-the-way i had no idea was an actual word).

i wish i could up and just know what i want and where i want to be. or what really is best for me.

i’m feeling a little lost. a little behind.

i’m feeling under confident in my numbers and where i stand. i wish i could say “in the end, all that really doesn’t matter”, but for now, it really does.

i guess what i really need to do is stop hiding from it all. i know i can’t not apply to programs because i’m scared it won’t work out. someone please teach me how to stop worrying and start living.