i’ve been hiding my emotions for so long, it’s almost impossible for me to distinguish what i’m really thinking from what everyone tells me i’m supposed to think.

my mind has been eating me alive. conflicting thoughts. confusion.

one second i want to talk about it. the next i can’t.

is this the way it’s suppposed to be?

today i got back pictures that i took with a disposable camera a long time ago. a picture of you and me. so happy.

happy.

happy. i miss that. i miss happiness.

for some breif moments i feel it. laughter. smiles return.

but i am so torn.

and i want to say, you never meant anything to me anyway. but that’s a lie.

inside i am crumbled.

but i don’t hate you. i can’t. i won’t.