sometimes i feel like such a failure.
i hate it when activities conflict. and the teachers don’t understand. i need a break. i’m not putting anything in front of the other. i’m juggling everything at once. and if i’m a member of something, i want to be a big part of it.
i miss 25 minutes of a 3 hour band rehearsal for an ASB half-time show run through, and mr. nelson freaks out on everyone the next morning about how people need to stay focused because people are missing 3-6s for half time show rehersals. focused? what is he talking about? i went to the three hour band rehersal did i not? i missed the least amount i could. and as much as i’m a part of band, i’m also a part of ASB. especially the homecoming half time show that the senior officers are in charge of. i try. i really do.
i’m sick, dizzy, and have a throbbing headache when i get up in the morning. i should have stayed home the entire day, but i know that missing tuesday band practice isn’t good. so i miss zero through second and go to school. and yes, i get mr. nelson in my face again. shaking his head in disproval. that’s the worst.
and the more i think about it… the more i ask myself why i asked him for a letter of rec for college. he stands on the field shaking his head constantly. he yells at us to “shut up.” he’s a grumpy old man. and he’s unpredictable. and i feel like he hates me.
oh and i just found out that i missed the booster meeting last wednesday. WHAT? i never knew about it. but i should have. i can see him now, shaking his head in disproval when they called my name to see if i was at the meeting to give the “band president report.” gosh. i’m such a failure of a band president. sorry.
i’m sorry i got sick. “don’t get sick” he says. i’m sorry i’m not there to give the band the okay to move after being dismissed. the band will survive. i promise.
i feel like such a failure. as if all the time i put into band is wasted and goes by unnoticed.
i need a self-esteem boost.
know what made matters worse? some kid hit my car in the parking lot today. thanks for helping me out james. i was really freaking out.
i really want to go to swim practice. but i’d only be able to make half an hour of it. go.. not go? i’m in my swimsuit already. i havn’t gone in awhile.
more conflicting activities.
decisions.
RAVE// i’m looking forward to homecoming! danny, you’re genius. if you give a dinosaur a donut. best book i’ve ever read. i love happy endings too.
RANT// mr. nelson
