i put life on hold.

said i wouldn’t go out. said i would lock myself in my room with study materials, keep the computer off, the stereo on some classical CD, and study like mad until APs.

and then i broke the promise. before it ever started.

i feel like a rebel. rebellious against myself.

why? because i have no self-control when it comes to what i hate doing most. studying.

i tell myself to study. and i go online or call people. i try to study. and i fall asleep. i realize that i haven’t studied. and i stress out about it so much, that i can’t.

a bad cycle.

but it’s here to be broken. starting today. now. i’m putting life on hold. as much as i can.

focus.

no regrets.

seize stress as an opportunity to push myself to study. instead of as a feeling that tips me over the edge.

alright. i’m ready. see you in a bit.

RAVE// got my prom dress! 🙂 i LOVE it. now i just need a date. haha 😉

RANT// the grapes of wrath is incredibly boring.