i’m feeling all better.

just really tired from no sleep. and well, the chem homework that i stayed up all night doing because i forgot about it. (bad melo)

but in the end, i think it all comes down to the fact that i hate hurting people. so much, in fact, that when i hurt someone, in the end, i’m hurt more than the person i hurt.

you hurt me? i’ll get over it i promise. i won’t ever forget, but i won’t hold it over my head for days and nights replaying what happened.

but if i hurt you. it’ll be there. the guilt because i still care. the fear that things will change. the fear that you’ll hate me.

one day i’m going to:

+ read and re-read all the awesome books out there waiting to inspire me, take me to far off places, and cure my curiosity.

+ learn how to sew. there’s so much cool stuff i could make 🙂

+ make an adorable quilt with super cute fabrics and patterns

+ learn how to knit and make myself a scarf

+ oil paint pictures of everything i ever wanted to

+ walk around with a super cool sketch book and just sit down and draw

+ make a poetry journal, and write brilliant poetry

+ redesign my room

+ own a blue mazda rx-8

+ go to stanford. undergrad, grad school. watever. that’s my dream school, and i’m going to find a way to go.

+ get a cool job.

+ find an awesome guy who likes me as much as i like him.

+ travel to europe and see everything i see in pictures first hand.

+ learn more about buddhism.

+ own a pink mini ipod

RAVE// i’m loving the band story of the year. thank you gina for the CD 🙂 i <3 youuu!

RANT// the air is dry. my skin is dry. roar.