sigh.. memories

today i was looking back on the posts on blogger that i had made in this blog.. like the one about my first swim meet.. aw.. lol. i LOVE looking back and remembering stuff. sometimes i wish i had a rewind button or even a replay button so i could experience certain memories again. ::sigh:: memories =D but what i love the best about blogger is this search button that blogger has that searches through all the posts and finds posts that have the word/phrase that i searched. i need a search button like this for everything in my life. like.. i need a search button for my notes.. so when i can’t find stuff on Louis XIV when i’m studying for AP euro.. i can just search it and all the papers will come up.. OR.. like when i can’t find a shirt that i want to wear.. i could like.. go to my closet door type in the shirt color and have all the shirts that color come to one side of the closet… you know? now THAT would be cool. 😛 oo.. and you know how cordless phones have this button that u press at the base when u can’t find the phone and the phone beeps? i need one of THOSE for my cell phone.. which i always seem to lose. you know.. things like that would be tyte!.. a search button.. yes.. i need one of those 🙂

attempts at being a good daughter

saturday afternoon my mom and i got in the hugest fight ever.. over ish i don’t really want to talk about. but anyway.. after crying for what seemed like two hours… the stuff my mom yelled at me finally sunk in and everything hit me. i’ve been such a horrible daughter!! i’ve decided that from now on i need to listen, share, and spend more time for my family. i suddenly realized how many times i’ve ditched my family to hang out with my friends or how many times i’ve pushed my mom away telling her i’m too busy when she walks in to talk about how my day went and i’m frantically doing my homework late at night. the thing with my mom and me is that sometimes i am so tight with her..and other times its like i wish i could just get away from her. i take so many things for granted and.. i don’t know.. i just feel bad. ugh. what did i do all these years? i wonder if my mom really knows how much i love her and how much i appreciate everything she has done for me. last night.. after she read my mother’s day card.. she started crying.. = is that bad? …::sigh:: ::promises to be good::

RAVE// i have this crave to watch totoro.. but the chinese version, not the english version. now i’m mad that my VHS player doesn’t work..

RANT// ever have those days where u feel FAT? 🙁